Coming Out of the Darkness of Promiscuity

When I was a young naïve girl, the word promiscuous always conjured up images in my mind of those infamous ladies of the night. Whether on a street corner or swinging from a pole, I could never identify myself with them. What made them that way? How could they give themselves away so easily?

Not until my high school years, when my fragile self esteem had been knocked around a time or two, could I even begin to understand why some girls where “loose.” But in those years of fighting for my own identity, I traded in my virginity so I could feel something all women long for – to be wanted, to be desired, to be loved.

I’m pretty sure most women who get caught up in the sex industry never imagined themselves ending up there. Certainly couldn’t have been their first choice of careers. But why stay? Somewhere along the way their self-worth was stolen from them. Going with the flow was easier than scratching and crawling their way back out or perhaps they were truly trapped by their circumstances.

I no longer sit in judgment of these women because I now understand that at first promiscuity probably offered them “a promise” that it never intended to keep. It promised attention, affection, and the false hope of actually being loved.

Rick Springfield, an eighties rocker if you are unfamiliar with the name, stated this: “The problem with promiscuity is that it’s always barking at your heels.” And it is totally true!! Once we venture down that slippery slope, it’s hard to slow down.

But what is God’s best for us? –chastity until marriage.

God wasn’t trying to be a killjoy when He designed sex only in the context of marriage. He knew how fulfilling and pleasurable it can be, but He also knew how dangerous it could be if abused. So He attempted to give us guidance. Which let’s be honest, a lot of us ignored the first part of our life!

When I look back now, I realize that we don’t have to have a hundred partners to be promiscuous, we just have to be living outside of God’s guidance on sex. What will we teach the next generation of daughters as they come up? How will we answer their questions about our mistakes and what we learned from it?

I hope we guide them to the book of Proverbs. I hope the words of Solomon will help them understand where promiscuity ultimately leads.

I find it interesting that Solomon takes three chapters of the book (Chapters 5, 6, and 7) to interject comments about the immoral, loose, wanton, promiscuous woman and then leaves us with Proverbs 31, which gives us a beautiful picture of a virtuous woman.

Side Note: The irony, of course, is King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines of various backgrounds. So, to say he knew a thing or two about loose women is an understatement.

In Proverbs 5-7, he is warning his son about the dangers of promiscuous women:

The lips of a seductive woman are oh so sweet, her soft words are oh so smooth. But it won’t be long before she’s gravel in your mouth, a pain in your gut, a wound in your heart. She’s dancing down the primrose path to Death; she’s headed straight for Hell and taking you with her. She hasn’t a clue about Real Life, about who she is or where she’s going. Proverbs 5:3-6 MSG

Don’t lustfully fantasize on her beauty, nor be taken in by her bedroom eyes. Proverbs 6:24 MSG

She runs a halfway house to hell, fits you out with a shroud and a coffin. Proverbs 7:27 MSG

However, my favorite description that Solomon gives on this type of woman is found in Proverbs 11:22:

A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout. NLT

I don’t know about you, but I’ll pass on that comparison!

Here’s what I know, whether we have messed up in this area once or a thousand times, Jesus is willing and able to forgive. Because of His loving mercies, I have been able to put my past behind me and live knowing I am redeemed, made-whole, and worthy to be called His daughter.

And so can you!

I’m growing into that Proverbs 31 woman little by little. How about you? I hope we teach our daughters and adopted daughters this very thing. Let’s teach them that even if they fall victim to the lies of what promiscuous behavior can bring them, that they know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. They can walk out of the darkness and into forgiveness.

What did Solomon say in the end about the virtuous woman? Simply this:

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Proverbs 31:30 NLT

Ladies, let’s call promiscuity what it is –sin, and let’s reach for the grace of Jesus.

Father God, I pray that if there is any sister out there still struggling with sexual immorality that you meet her where she is and help her to lift her face toward you. Lord build her self-worth, her strength, and faith. May she come to the true promise keeper and be redeemed as Your daughter. In Jesus name I pray, amen.



Founder, Transforming Love Ministries

Creator, She Steps Forward Women’s Conference

For more of Elaine’s story, you can find Love Echoed Back: I Cried Out; He Answered on

Please note all scripture references taken from the MSG and NLT.

The Message (MSG) Copyright © 1993, 2002, 2018 by Eugene H. Peterson

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.



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