We are now in the month of February, and because of Valentine’s Day, it is frequently dubbed the month of love. However, for all the Ruths out there waiting for their Boaz, it has been dubbed single awareness month.
I know you’re probably biting your nails to find out what a perpetually single person has to say about this month. In my past seasons, you probably would have heard a bitter and sometimes angry individual who could colorfully explain Valentine’s Day and this whole month of love thing. Thankfully, God is a God of transformation. I’ve changed and now I am excited about the month of February.
Being completely honest, most of my life I have loved love. I have lost count of how many paperback romance novels I have read. The whole story of boy finding girl, boy falling in love with girl, and the two living happily ever after is probably one of my kryptonites. That’s how it goes in the movies and on TV too. Once the boy chooses his girl, her real life begins. Even in our childhood fairy tales, a prince’s kiss wakes the girl up and they live happily ever after.
As women, there is this great sense of validation that comes from being in love or being desired by a man. So, what do we do when the man who is supposed to come along and validate us doesn’t show up or when he turns out to be a frog in prince clothing? For us ladies, who may not have a special Valentine or person to shower our affection on for the month of love, why not date Christ instead?
Oh, and for our sisters that are attached, don’t get jealous of our great guy. (lol)
This month, as everyone else is focusing on love for that special someone, why not focus on the love we have for Christ and His love for us? By intentionally expressing our love to our Creator daily and receiving the love He has for us, imagine how that could change the atmosphere around you.
It’s often said the season of being single is so important in your spiritual growth because it’s just you and God. During this season, there is a deep intimacy you can achieve with God without having to coordinate it around everything and everyone else in your life.
So often as women we put ourselves last in the pecking order of who’s needs need to be met first. During a season of singleness, you and God get to be at the top of the list. As you experience this kind of intimacy with God, you get to see how valuable you are to Him and His kingdom, outside of being someone’s wife or someone’s mom. He wants you for you.
I don’t know about anyone else, but often when I’m focusing on the negative side of life, I can go into a tailspin of woe is me, especially when it comes to being single. When the enemy tries to insert the thought that no one loves me, what I find most helpful is saying: “Man, I can’t believe how much God loves me!”
Seeing too many pictures of couples on Facebook and Instagram? Put the phone down and step away. Be mindful that people go to crazy extremes to make Instagram-able posts where much of it is not the reality of the situation. So, while you are pining away over their post to have that same experience, realize the burden of being in their shoes may not be one you actually want. To combat some of the posts or the feelings that may arise from them, go and read a verse in the Bible. I would recommend any of the Psalms or any verse that you find uplifting and lets you know you were uniquely created.
As I was looking at relationships, I came up with a few benefits on dating Christ while you’re in your single season during the month of love.
Number one benefit: Jesus is NOT afraid of commitment. Often in starting relationships, we find ourselves in that limbo of asking questions: “Does he really like me? How much does he like me? Can he express his feelings correctly? Are we on the same page?” With Christ, we can know that He loves us so much that He thought we were worth dying for. Jesus went to Calvary for us. If that isn’t the epitome of commitment, I don’t know what is!
Second benefit: Jesus will NOT cheat on you. Every person’s relationship with Him is different and very personal. You don’t have to feel like you’re second fiddle to anyone else. He is the only one who can be omnipresent.
Third benefit, and probably my favorite benefit: With Jesus you have freedom. He accepts us as we are. He doesn’t berate us or put us down. Anything He suggest that we improve, He does in a way that is loving and kind. When I’m convicted about something, it feels like: “Okay, you know that’s wrong, you know I love you, and that you’re better than that.” He never makes me feel shameful or bad about myself.
The world tells us that independent women don’t answer to anyone. They make their own rules and that’s what freedom is. But I know in my walk with Christ, there are things we’ve discussed that aren’t for me. It’s not that I can’t do them, He simply removes the desire to do them. For example, after dating someone for a certain amount of time, a lot of single ladies battle with the other person’s expectation of the relationship becoming physical. If you’ve had physical relationships in the past, it can be easy to give in to the urges. Ladies, I know God is a redeemer, meaning He can’t give you the time back, but He can make up for any time you feel was lost if you wait. So, I say take this old saying to heart: “Good things come to those that wait.”
Fourth benefit: You have 24-hour access to Jesus. You don’t have to worry about the phone going to voicemail or wondering if he saw your text message. Jesus wants to have a relationship with us. He wants to hear about our problems, hopes, dreams, fears, and the desires of our heart. Even better, He is the only source that can help us achieve our hopes, dreams, and desires or battle our problems and fears. He is probably the only person that can never get enough of us.
Fifth benefit: Jesus is a master communicator. With Him, we can learn how to effectively discuss our difference of opinion in a healthy way. As we learn to communicate with Christ, He teaches us how to communicate better with others. During disagreements with Him, we also learn humility because technically He’s always right! It’s His character.
During the month of February, I challenge you to think about what your future month of love might look like with a spouse. What can you learn while dating Christ that you can apply in a future relationship? Once you get over that initial ugh of it being silly or cheesy, you’ll start to enjoy it, and if nothing else, you can chalk it up to a dry run.
Here are a few ideas to get you started on how you can show your man some love this month.
A top idea is a romantic dinner for two. Make a special meal as if you were preparing for your future husband. If you can cook, great! You’re going to have a delicious meal and leftovers for the next day. If you can’t cook, well, nobody needs to know how it turned out but you and Jesus. You’ll probably get a good laugh out of it anyway.
Another idea is, if you like getting flowers, send yourself some or something else that can be sent anonymously. You can even write a cute note or put from your secret admirer.
An easy-to-do idea is to get a pad of sticky notes and just write why you love God, or write lyrics from a love song you like, and post them around the house to find later.
The more you get into the challenge and get creative, you’re going to discover both a new side of Christ and yourself.
Written by Katrina Hodges